It starts as a dark vapor, little more than a possibility. It lives in the hearts of men curled up like a sleeping tiger.
It can rise and drift, sniffing out opportunities and weak spots. Where it finds deep hurt and anger that is stuck and festering, it finds its next meal.
As it feasts, it grows stronger and its shadowy, vaporous, faceless form, takes on shape, grows flesh.
Now it becomes a tall, muscular, blonde man in armor, fighting tirelessly with a sword, his face emotionless and implacable. Now it becomes a different man, small and dark, this time with a gun. Now it becomes an angry mob. It takes on any form it is given, it does not care one bit what that is as long as it’s fed.
When people fear it, it feels more powerful and grows bigger. When it is in that state, it looks so real. It’s so fleshed out and fully formed. Shabby, scared people huddle together and hold their children close in terror. It is so scary that you’d have to be quite strange or even delusional to not be scared. But inside, it’s still just that same vaporous thing.
People fight it because they want to protect their families from it, and they think that fighting is the only way to do that.
People also fight it because they want to fight, period. Or people fight it for something to do, to stay busy and feel useful.
None of them realize that the act of fighting it strengthens it.
If it is ignored, like yeah I know you're there but I’m going to instead focus on creating something beautiful, creating the world I do want, instead of fighting the thing I don’t want, it shrinks and recedes.
This is helpful, even if it is called foolish or worse by the people who are exhausting themselves fighting.
But to take it a step farther: What if you approach the thing kindly, and firm in the knowing of who you are, and you ask, What do you need?
Or, you what if you look in its eyes and say, I accept you as part of life and part of me and I see your hurt and it’s okay, there is plenty of room for everyone here.
At first sometimes it puffs itself up and becomes a dragon, becomes something even scarier, and insists loudly that it is this terrifying evil and you ought to be scared. When it sees you are unmoved - still kind, still steady - it collapses and cries like a small child. It weeps. It tells you of its sorrows and suffering. It tells you how it has been utterly forsaken and alone. You let it cry and bear witness.
If you have asked it what it needs, the answer, eventually, is usually some form of Love. I need love. I’m a bottomless pit and I need all the love in the world to fill myself up.
So, you give it that. Turns out you are a channel of infinite love and the supply is inexhaustible.
When the thing has drank for a while and starts to feel even a little bit satisfied, even a little bit sure that you aren’t going to turn on it or abandon it, it turns into a dog. It licks your face and runs and jumps around for a few minutes, then curls up at your feet.
What is this thing I am talking about?
Some people call it “hate.”
Some people call it hate thinking hate is somehow more than deep hurt, stuck anger, and a story to justify those feelings. That it is something in and of itself. They give it a face and to fight against it, and as long as they do, it is inexhaustible and terrifying.
It’s them! This group of people is ruining it for me and for everyone. If they would just stop being so terrible, or if they would just disappear, everything would be fine.
It’s that politician. It’s that businessman. If he would just stop doing these horrible things or if he would just disappear, the world would be better.
Am I chiding you or anyone for not seeing through this illusion? Or separating myself out and saying I never do this? No of course not.
And, is it wrong to fight this thing we call hate, knowing that it strengthens it and keeps the whole thing going?
This, my friends, is life on Earth.
Yes, as long as you want to fight, there will always be something to fight against.
You fight until you realize the one you fight is a crystallization of your own fears and all that you deny in yourself, or until you just get tired.
Hate and love are not opposites.
Love is the energy of Creation that moves through all that is. Love is not an emotion. There is no opposite to love, as death and decay and pain are just a part of the cycle and are in no way antithetical to love. What we call hate is deep hurt, stuck anger, and stories to justify those feelings. This is part of life too. It is not the opposite of love, but love is the antidote. And you can choose it, in each moment. Your monsters can become black labs at any moment.
Happy spooky season, witches and weirdos.
XXOO
Mollie
P.S. - Astrology readings open up in December. email me (soilandstarsart@gmail.com) to get on the waitlist.
P.P.S. - Want something to listen to? The last episode of the Soil & Stars podcast is a good one: 22. personal power, responsibility, & service | Luna Battalia